My mother just recently met my boyfriend, his mother and his brother a couple weeks ago and she brought something up that I was mad about at first but now I am starting to agree with my mom. He just turned 24 last month and I am turning 23. We have been dating for almost a year coming really soon. My mom really likes him and wants us to get married in the future.

So my mom told me that his mother is being selfish and talks to them as if they are little children. This obviously upsets me at first because how can she say that about her when they only met for one day then she started to explain that. She told me that she is robbing my boyfriends independence because he is still living with her. She says that my bf is more like his wife because he paying for everything. My mom can always see through people better than I . I told my mom that he pays the car bill which is biweekly (about 400 a month), groceries, gas, etc. The car is actually in his name but she is the “owner” he signed for her cause she couldn’t. He also paid the cats vet fees of 400 dollars and no one else chipped in. It’s not just his cat you know. She only has to pay utilities because the house is fully paid off. Now I overheard her telling him he has to pay for the fridge and stove that she wants. And his younger brother doesn’t pay for anything because he is the spoiled one and seems like the favoured child. He only makes 18 dollars an hour right now. Early in the relationship, I questioned him why does he do all those things when she has a good paying job working for the city? He just shrugs. When she says she needs gas , he gives her the credit card. He takes the bus , why he got to put gas in it for her all the time? He shares his room with his brother and both have single beds. He is in need of a new bed as well. So when I go there I can’t even say let me sleep over. I have slept over once and we slept in their room while his brother went on the couch.

His mom actually borrowed 1000 dollars from me since February and still hasn’t returned it back or mentioned anything about it. I told him I’ll need the money soon to pay for my school fees and he says he will pay it back if she doesn’t. I told him she should pay it back because she won’t give him back the money I know it.

Don’t get me wrong guys, I really love his mom but I think she needs to be more independent and take responsibility for her own bills. She cooks for them all the time and even does their laundry. He doesn’t even do the dishes. When he came over to my apartment earlier in our dating he didn’t know how to wash dishes. I told him he needs to learn and now he does . I don’t like how she raised him as if I’m expected to do everything like cook, clean, do laundry, etc. He told me if I need anything done around my place to ask him. I said no, if you see something that needs to be done just do it without me asking. For example , removing the garbage. Simple things. I don’t need to tell him do this, do that. I’m going to sound bossy. Now he is doing great and if he sees something that needs to be done he will do it without me telling him. He also doesn’t have his drivers license or even a passport. As a mother , you should be pushing your sons and make sure that they are in check getting their shit together. So as his girlfriend I am making sure that he is going to get his license , passport and go back to school for a better education. It is exhausting !!! I have expectations for my boyfriend and I will uphold any expectations he has for me. I am a go getter and I think about our future. I am a nurse but I currently upgrading. I’ve been really independent and moved out at 18 and never looked back or asked my mom for help. My mom never expected me to pay bills when I had a job. I was working two jobs in highschooI. know everyone doesn’t move in the same pace but he hasn’t recognized his potential to do better and I am pushing him because his dad seems to be the only one doing it but he wouldn’t go for his license/back to school. Well he did try to go back to school and dropped the program. My bf is afraid of losing me as I’ve put some expectations on him that he is afraid he might not fulfill but I’ll help him! I’ve even paid for him to process the back to school applications , his license and I am going to pay for his passport app. I want to take him to travel which I’ve offered to pay for. His mother has failed to not bring him back to his roots Like 😒 and she’s not poor! Like stop sucking the money out of my mans pockets please.

So when I told my boyfriend these things he agreed with me to my surprise because he seems like he doesn’t care about it. Does anyone else agree that his mom is taking a little bit advantage of him? I do love him and want the best for him and our future together.

I hope you guys just see that I am a good girlfriend trying to make my man better 🥺. I don’t want to just drop him. I want us to grow together and his momma need to give him more financial freedom. I don’t think you mature enough without being able to live on your own. I don’t want us to live together that’s not what I am pushing for. His moms says “I really like you because you have a good head on your shoulders and you’re in school and so happy you’re with my son” ... so why doesn’t the same apply for your son?

UPDATE: So my boyfriend and I spoke and I told him we need to have this conversation in person. He says that he loves me too much to lose me. I am also pissed off again because his mom came to his fucking workplace to pick up his credit card to pay for the STOVE AND FRIDGE FOR A GRAND TOTAL OF FUCKING 1500 dollars !!!!! 🙃🙃🙃 he says he HOPES she gives some of it but I don’t think so. I am going to tell him how she took advantage of me because she thinks I have money to give when she asked for the money. My mom told me not to get close to her because she will ask me for money (my mom doesn’t know this has already happened). Oh my mother would be pissed because I’ve been waiting for almost 8 months . I actually sent her the money in January. 😞 My 23rd birthday is coming up on Tuesday and I don’t even know if he will be able to do anything special and I don’t even want him to because he blows his money on her!