Hi everyone, I really need some outside advice because I’m feeling very annoyed and upset and maybe not seeing things clearly.

Background info: I’m on maternity leave at the moment with my 6 month old (FTM). I live with my partner.

Due to COVID my work are doing restructuring and some people have left. This afternoon I have an interview for a different role in my team. I haven’t been at work since before Christmas and I’m scheduled to go back in October once my mat leave ends. I had three days to do the job application and being a bit rusty, looking after a baby at the same time I asked my partner for some help over the weekend and he said yes but then when it came to it I ended up doing my usual routine with the baby and just dipping in and out of my work. I got it done but I did express that I didn’t feel very supported - this did not go down well, we argued and eventually made up with him saying he understood my feelings.

So I submit the application and then on Tuesday I’m told my interview will be Thursday afternoon via Zoom and there’s a written test that needs to be emailed to them by Thursday morning. Again, only having two days to prep for the interview AND do a test I was a bit stressed because it was just me and the baby at home (partner works). But my partner said he could look after the baby all day on Thursday so I could focus which I was/am very grateful for. I did my written test on Tuesday evening after baby went to sleep and I went to bed just as my partner came home from a long day. As he had a long day I should have sterilised baby’s bottles for the next day. This is usually what my partner does every night before bed so I was on autopilot and didn’t think to do it. When he came home I apologised for not doing it but he said it was cool and he would it because he needed to be up and send emails for an hour or so anyway. Great! So I went to bed.

In the morning we woke up (baby is in our room) at 7am and I tried to have my usual chat “morning! how did you sleep? Etc etc”. He was extremely grumpy and moody so I asked if everything was ok and he confessed that he was very pissed off that I left the bottles for him to do.. I was of course confused but I apologised and tried to move on with the day. He then said I was poking him all night (I definitely wasn’t) and he slept badly because I kept disturbing him. I apologised again and said that if I disturbed him it was not intentional at all. He then said I didn’t understand how hard his day was, called me a dickhead, told me to fuck off and slammed the bedroom door. This was all while I was holding our son in my arms.

I was shocked but I just carried on with my day as normal and tried to let him cool off. He went to work and I looked after baby, did the rest of my test during his nap and then spent Wednesday evening prepping for the interview. When he came home from work he refused to speak to me so I left it and went to bed (feeling pretty low).

I wake up today (day of interview) hoping he will apologise or at least explain his outburst and maybe want to move forward. He doesn’t and when I tried to ask him why he was treating me like this, he told me to fuck off and to go revise my shit.

Honestly I’m trying my best to focus on my interview later but it’s really really hard. I’m so mad at him. I feel like I haven’t done anything to deserve this and it’s impossible to focus fully when my mind is on him/our relationship.

It might sound dramatic but I don’t think I can get over this easily. I feel like your partner having a big thing like an interview... surely you should at least say good luck? I feel so incredibly low and not sure if he realises but his actions are really pushing me away.

How should I approach this? Should I feel this hurt? Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you