Long story

When I was seventeen I graduated and dated someone I liked from highschool he was 19, he couldn't believe we were together thought I would leave him. He tried to get me pregnant when he thought I was going to walk out. He would text call all the time show up throw pebbles at my window yes after fights he'd buy me chocolates and flowers.

Excuse lack of grammar and punctuation

He gave me alcohol and took me to concerts we took road trips and I thought I was in love but he had it in his head that he couldn't be loved an thought I'd always leave him he would fight guys that would cat call or flirt. He would pressure me to have sex it started by showing me a condom saying lets just see if its really flavor an he would push my head down and in the car he would grab my head try to make me give him a blow job, on my birthday he raped me I said no and he had to said because it was my birthday. I hate it for watching a regular movie the guy had his shirt off an he was throwing everything in the room and was choking me saying I liked the actor and we had sex while I was crying.

It is so hard to walk away I broke up with him he borrowed a van and drove to my house threatened to drive the van into the house if I didn't leave.

He sent me pictures where he cut himself said he would kill himself so I got back together with him

It was full of apologizes and good days bad days I'd remember the good the dates going to prom and put that over all the problems. He even bought me a cell phone and minutes. He said he was doing all this because he loved me couldn't bear to lose me.

I left early in the morning left the state.

I was so lonely during that time and wanted answers it was years later I called him and told him why if he loved me why did he hurt me put me through that he said it was because of his past told me he was sorry that he was a church member changed his ways that he was waiting for me and he was all these years he didn't date anyone else was waiting for me.

I got back into the relationship but he would tell me what I wanted to hear he was who he thought I wanted and I found out inside the church he was selling drugs, I found needles under the bathroom sink, women were throwing themselves at him for his product. It was a lie I said how could he do this to us we were engaged I remember him screaming and calling out my name telling me not to go but I left the one person I love because he was destroying himself and

There are times I want to run back and see if he's changed but everyday I fight myself to not go back there.

It wasn't this way we used to go hiking together, picnics, he'd cook for me, drink wine, have bonfires, go to romantic places he would remember our anniversary, he would write me letters poems cards, jewelry, flowers and he knew me more than most people