feeling conflicted about my sexuality

this is kind of long-winded and i know ultimately it's my choice to make, but maybe somebody else has been here too and has some advice to offer.

i've been with mostly men for the past five years, with a few lesbian hookups sprinkled in but have never officially dated a woman beyond "just talking" for a few months, mostly because i lived in a pretty rural small town with very few queer people. i've since moved to a very liberal, queer-friendly city and now most of my friends are gay!

my current relationship is almost one year deep, i really love this guy and see a future with him. we had a super rough patch during quarantine (i found out he had cheated on me at the beginning of our relationship with his ex and continued to talk to her despite me begging him not to) but after both doing therapy we're working through everything and have come out the other side much closer/stronger than before.

howeverrrr, during our rough patch i broke up with him for a few days and out of sadness i downloaded a dating app for queer women. i saw how many beautiful girls are in my area but got shy and deleted the app before even matching with anyone, and shortly after my boyfriend and i got back together.

i'm mostly happy, and trying to let go of the hurt my boyfriend caused me because he is somebody i see myself marrying/having a family with someday. he's my best friend, but sometimes i think about what i might be missing out on. i feel very drawn to women, moreso than i have in the past and have found myself watching a bunch of lesbian tiktoks/youtube videos (silly, i know) and getting really sad and kinda jealous that these people are just being their full authentic selves.

i am feeling pulled in two directions, one is pulling me to stay in this well-established relationship with somebody i love and feel safe/happy with. the other direction is telling me to try being with a woman because a huge part of me deep down feels that a lesbian relationship would be so fulfilling and make me really happy.

has anyone else been in this position? i love women so much and have watched myself inch further and further into the closet and i just feel very unhappy in terms of my sexuality but i feel so good about the hetero relationship i'm in!!!!

pics just because lol here's me in 2015 at age 18 (note the MASSIVE pride flag):

and me now, trying to look as feminine as possible bc apparently i give off gay vibes according to my friends: