It really sucks that I have cried over my husband leaving me and my son for another woman everyday for over 3 months... but what really really really sucks is that my husband was a narcissist... he was verbally and emotionally abusive most of our marriage, he was physically abusive for many parts of it... he has given me 2 STDS and unfortunately one of them I can’t get rid of... he is a repetitive cheater and a habitual liar... he had called me a many ugly, fat, nasty, lazy bitches, he has given he bruises, and has come home after spending time with whoever he was sleeping with to sleep with me... he could never tell the truth... he would make me feel worthless, and stupid, he would make me out to be a bad wife... he would tell me that he could find somebody else who would do everything he wanted to do..... he made to out to be a horrible wife because I chose my son, I chose to be a mother first and then a wife... and what’s crazy is that I still loved him.... and I wanted to be with him because I felt I couldn’t live without him, I felt I couldn’t do anything on my own without him and when he left I had this beautiful baby boy who was only 11 pounds and four months old who needed his momma to be strong... who needed his momma to do what she had to do for herself and her son... it’s sometimes easier said than done and I wish I could stop crying and I wish I never had a baby by this man and I wish I was strong enough to leave sooner.... but in the end I know that I am a strong woman who is able and who is smart and who is loved and somebody is going to come into me and Ruben’s life and love us better than he ever could... I know one day I’ll stop crying over that piece of shit that I called my husband... I know karma is one day gonna bite him in the ass... I know one day I am going to be able to love again... and I know one day I’ll be able to look back at this situation and see how far I have grown to be the woman and mother that I am. I am worthy of good things! Because I will never come up short because I never did a thing wrong.... me and my son deserve so much better than that piece of garbage and it is going to be okay! I promise myself it is going to be okay. I love myself, and I am happy, and I am worthy, and I am loved...... you guys please pray for me, please pray for all the strength that you think I need....

P.S. we had a court date today and we have a temporary custody agreement order... all he has to do is be a good dad.... I don’t care to have any positive relationship with him.