Why Didn't My Mom Love Me?

Question

I hear people say things like the bond a women feels to her baby is like no other, or thank your mother for the pain she went through. Your mom's a warrior. She did it out of love. Why didn't my mom love me? Why did she keep me from my dad and use him for child support. Why did she grab me by my hair and put my head in the toilet trying to drown me just for dying my hair. Why did she let her boyfriend rape me and call me a dirty little skank. Why did she strip me naked and beat me until I peed myself. Why did she push me down the stairs. Why when I got pregnant through rape by her boyfriend and got an abortion did she call me a slut....
My dad saved me... He spent 20,000 on a lawyer but he saved me. I'm almost 18 and have been living with my dad for a year and a half. He put me in therapy. Let me sleep in the bed with him to keep the nightmares away. Help me figure out my interests. I'm grateful for my dad.... But... Knowing all these people with loving mother's.... Why didn't mine love me....

Answer

Because she couldn’t. She couldn’t love anyone, not even herself. There is something wrong with her, not you. That’s a hard lesson, one that took me many years to figure out. Neither of my parents could love anyone of their children but we’re all ok. I have my own kids and I am one bad ass mom. I used both of my parents as a “what not to do guide” for life and parenting. Your dad is doing the right things for you now, therapy is a great tool and will help you lead a normal, happy life. Keep going and remember, that shit was on her and because of her own mental health issues. Not you.

Answer

My mother was the same way,  I haven't spoken to her in 8 years. I've still not healed from what she put me through. Some women are like that. It's unfortunate for us that don't have loving mothers. People just expect that it's the fathers fault instead and it sucks

Answer

I’m so sorry for all that you’ve been through 😣. Some mothers aren’t actually cut out to be mothers, and it’s a sad thing when that happens because you aren’t unlovable, your mom is just incapable of being who you needed her to be. I feel like I missed out on having a bond with my mom too, her and I don’t have a close relationship and never have. There were times I had to adapt and force myself to be civil with her so she wouldn’t kick me out or hurt me but once I moved out I put my foot down and let her know that her behavior towards me is unacceptable. Im so glad to hear you have a loving father who never gave up fighting for you.

Answer

First of all I'm soooo sorry...She isn't a mother. She is a monster. Im happy you got your dad. He loves you. God loves you. Now you keep on loving you🙏 you are worth it

Answer

My mom never loved me either. It never stops hurting, especially when you have children of your own, but you find remarkable strength. ❤️

Answer

I dont think she knows what love is honestly. Sorry you went through so much hope you get well soon

Answer

It’s a cliche people overuse. Many moms try their best so people claim everything is out of love as if that wipes away all the pain. People have likely implied the same of your mom, unable to see the truth. 
Im sorry for your situation. My mom used my sisters dad for child support but wouldn’t them meet even after she had him imprisoned for bs and he sent letters begging to hear something about his daughter. Some women aren’t strong enough to create life and love it and nurture and protect it. My mom loves me even though she’s been abusive and the like. It doesn’t justify what she did but I know she does. Sometimes people have love but can find ways to show it, sometimes guilt blocks it or inability to see truth. 
Just remember, the time will come for you to forgive and you’ll have to know it’s for yourself so that you can unchain yourself from the life she forced upon you and be free for you. What she did was wrong. And it wasn’t your fault. It will never be your fault. Find kind people, walk forwards when you can. Blessings and best wishes.

Answer

I know that feeling. My biological mom had 7 of us. I always wondered why she hated me the most. She told me when she found out she was pregnant with me she did everything to get my biological dad mad at her so he would beat her for her to miscarry and when that didn't work she tried it herself..she told me out of all her kids I was the one she never wanted. I was the one she just couldn't bond with. I was the one she didnt care when her drug dealers raped me or her boyfriends sexually abused me everytime they came over. She allowed them to beat me. She had my youngest brother 2 years after me and she adored him. She had my 2 sisters a year and half before me and she loved them both. I know im adopted ive known for along time but it still hurts. Even know after all these years she still hates me and I don't know why..she told me the reason all of her kids got taken away was cause I couldn't behave..that I should be lucky my biological dad or her bfs didn't kill me like she was hoping for

Answer

Bc your mother was a sick demented person.. sorry to hear about what she as done to you, your father is definitely an angel.. ❤️ get well and wishing you all the best for the future

Answer

I’m sorry that you had to go through all of that! 
I’m guessing your mom was never ready to be a mom or that maybe she suffers from some sort of mental illness. 
I’m sorry you had to go through that, I’m sorry you had to endure all of this pain and suffering and I hope and pray that your life gets so much better darling!

Why Didn't My Mom Love Me?

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey