Husband cheating with men?

I'm adding anonymously because I'm embarrassed. I'm shocked. Before all of this we had a "perfect" marriage. Of course arguments here and there but he showed plenty of attention, treated me great. I was completely happy. We had planned for a baby, she is now 2 months. Almost 2 weeks ago my world was flipped upside down. I found emails from Craigslist, not talking to women, but MEN. Talking about every sexual thing possible. He had told me it's a "joke" that he was raped when he was 12 so he wanted to lead ppl on and "hurt" them. Make them feel unwanted, ect. He sent pictures of his face and downstairs. Asking for pics to trade. I had asked him if it was a joke or to hurt someone why he would want to see that. He replied he just would scroll past it. He had said he gets into depressed moods then he wants to hurt someone and that's how he does it.. I don't know if I should believe him or if he was really trying to meet up with men. He's never had a high sex drive. I've tried to look into counseling but we can't afford it. I'm at a loss. But my baby is too young to do every other weekend. I would die without her. I never pictured it this way... Any advice or take on this is appreciated.