Last night I showed Mario that picture on the left which was taken 2 years and 4 months ago. He was so surprised. He said, “damn babe!” I asked him, “do I look like this right now? Be honest” and I wasn’t just asking this for attention. After my appointment yesterday I felt like who I was seeing in the mirror may be different from who everyone else is seeing, especially with how much my body has hurt lately I could feel the heaviness of my body.

Let me rewind a bit. Yesterday was my 24 week appointment and I stepped on their scale to my surprise to show that I am up to 240. I started this pregnancy at 208. (I topped out at 262 right after Elaina) It’s only 5 pounds up from a month ago so it wasn’t seeing that I was up 5 pounds that bothered me (I steadily always gain throughout my pregnancies) however just seeing that number 240 in my mind took me back to feelings I had the last time I weighed that before my weight loss. It had me wondering if I looked like the person in that photo on the left. Especially with dealing with the severe hip and back pain, and I can physically feel the swelling above my butt so it’s no lie I can physically feel this weight.

Mario said, “no babe you definitely don’t look like that right now” I guess I just needed the reassurance that trying my best to have the healthiest pregnancy possible is making a difference. With Elaina I binge ate sweets CONSTANTLY. I mean after breakfast, lunch, dinner and in between as snacks while eating fast food. My eating habits have changed this time around. This is pregnancy number 5 and the last. And I know I typically hold onto a ton of water fluid and I tend to gain it in my bottom half first 😬😬 I also need to remind myself everyone’s body is different. I’ve never been one to only gain 20 pounds, I’m a 5’8 girl lol I know I’m doing what I can to be the healthiest I can be for my little man, and that’s what matters.

Anyways, I’m just proud of me despite having pain, despite being exausted, and dealing with unexpected health issues this go around that I’ve never had in my unhealthy pregnancies, I still have my questionable moments of wonder but my fiancé is such a great partner to give me that reassurance ❤️

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