Could I have advice or something baha (kinda long )

So I’m sure some of you have been through similar situations.

Have you ever not let yourself be happy with a boy you’re “talking” or “hanging out” with because you don’t want to get your hopes up?

Like I will catch myself smiling (or feeling happy when thinking ab them or when I have fun w them) , make myself stop and tear down any happiness or hope or ill berate myself for it.

I’m mentally exhausted and I keep breaking down. It physically hurts , I get so sad and anxious.

The guy I need advice on is my fwb. We’ve been talking for I think 2ish months now. I didn’t put out for a month or so.

At the beginning we both didn’t want a relationship. He wasn’t ready for one and I just wasn’t interested in dating him or in general.

Also he was suppose to be moving down south in less than a year but a couple days ago he decided he would stay for another couple years because he got a good job offer here and Covid and etc.

(Btw we do live 2 hours away and that’s one thing he said he was worried ab but weve made it work). He’s trying to move again and he might be moving an hour closer (him n his dad were talking and my fwb said “yeah but she lives two hours away” and the dads like “yeah but if you move to *this area* you’ll be a lot closer to each other” and he’s like yeah that’s true.

... so idk how to take any of that. Like he just told me ab that convo and I’m like okay so what’s that mean?? I’m so confused omg.

Now I’ve caught feelings and am getting attached. There’s things he says or does that gets me thinking maybe eventually he will want more w me. We act like a couple but I think his love language is acts of service and being touchy.

Ik his last gf, they started out fwb but she cheated. They broke up this past December.

So fwb usually last a couple months right? But he asked if I’d be patient and keep hanging w him once school starts for the both of us.

I’ve met his parents and they both liked me. I’ve been hanging and going on trips w his friends from the start. My fwb asks ab my family a good amount (again randomly) , he’s asked what I want for my bday in January (out of the blue a couple times now).

He told his friend when we first met that I check all his boxes w looks & most importantly personality (I trust that info from her , won’t go in detail ab why I do).

Apparently he’s a lot happier since we started hanging out (said by him n a diff friend)

I don’t want to say anything to him yet. I want to get through this next two months n just see how shit goes esp w school. It’s his senior year in college and he’s stressed asf and knows it’ll be hard to get through. So I wonder if he’s just waiting to get a handle on school. Ik I’ll be prioritizing school and I tell him he should too.

Also we are both busy asf and Ik neither of us hang w other ppl although we are both on dating apps still and talking to ppl that way.