I really hate that I still have feelings for him. It’s been 10 years since we’ve been together and you’d think that would be plenty of time to get over him, right? Nope. And the thing of it is, he’s not even that great of and dad! Or person for that matter! He’s ignorant, immature and bullheaded and isn’t really an emotionally involved parent. But every time I’m around him, I feel like a little girl with a crush. And that is NOT me. Like at all.

(We met when we were both 17 and he was my first real love. I pictured us getting married and everything. We would get together every single day after school and I just felt so good and secure being with him)

I’ve also been going to his page every time he pops up on my FB. When he ‘likes’ a post of a mutual friend. I also had to delete one woman who we were both friends with because he was trying to get with her and made it very clear on FB. I couldn’t stand to see it.

Now if someone were to ask how I feel about him, I’d say, “I can’t stand him. I wish I had never met him.” But I would be lying to them and myself.

This was hard for me to write (and probably a mess for anyone to read) but I had to get it off my chest for once. Hopefully in doing so, I can start to move on