The other day I broke down... I was in the car n a Gospel song came on ...Take me to the King... ..I was listening to the words Take me to the King I don't have much to bring ...my heart is torn to pieces here's my offering .... I immediately started to cry that I wanted my baby back ... I just sat in my car crying n saying I want my baby back ... I do home health ...So I was in front of my clients house ...trying to get my self together...but crying out to God ... all I could think was why???? Then I thought of how many months I would b now... (almost five) how big I would b ... how I would know by now what I was having ...n how happy I was to b a mother again .... It's not a day that goes by ...I am reminded of my lil baby ...I c babies in public I cry ... somebody is always pregnant on FB looking happy ... just a constant reminder... this is hard ... I'm praying for peace ...n to hear from God but it's like God is far away ...n the peace is not peace but grief... life is hard ....miscarriage is terrible... I love n miss my lil peanut ...