Sick of this country

For 6 months I've stuck in India. And I can't cope anymore.

I came here for my fiance and we planned to move soon but lockdown happened. For first 2.5 months we weren't able to go out, only to grocery shops that always changed their work time! It was from 10 am to 2pm, then from 8am to 12pm, ended up from 6am to 10am!

I came here in March that was Indian "summer" And I was dying from heat, it was hotter than hell.

And now I'm 3 months pregnant. We planned and really really wanted this baby, but now I feel even worse than ever. I have so much food cravings but food I love is no where to be found here.

Coming to India you can forget about sausages, steaks, burgers (except for chicken), sushi, good cakes and good chocolate, different kinds of cheese, let's say forget about all western food. To get a chicken I need to choose a live one and they are going to chop its head in front of you 😭😭😭 I've lost 20 lbs during my first trimester cus I'm always nauseous and I can't find food to eat here.

A few days ago I've learnt that sex determination is banned in India so I won't be able to learn the gender of my baby till delivery!!! I literally cried the whole day.

Another thing is people. I'm tired of them too, they look at me like I'm a monkey in the zoo, always asking for selfie or randomly approaching with a question "do you study?" Once a guy on the motobike came close to me, grabbed my ass and went away before I did something.

I can come back home but it means I would go alone without my fiance and I don't want to leave him especially during our first pregnancy. But I literally can't handle it anymore.