Would I be a bad person for this?

I just found out I’m pregnant with a rainbow baby after a loss last year. The thing is, I’m terrified to tell my boyfriend.

Here’s our background: we’ve been together for almost 2 1/2 years. He has a lot of mental health issues (Bipolar, anxiety, PTSD) and a lot of them stem from his mom being neglectful of, and abusive to, him in the past. Even now, she bounces in and out of his life at her own convenience. When we had our first pregnancy, she/he was planned but when it actually happened, i realized that me being pregnant was a trigger for his PTSD. He started to tell me that he felt like he’d turn out just like her, would get emotional to the point he would almost black out, etc. I tried to get him to tell his dad (he is close to his dad so I thought he could help) but he said he felt like an embarrassment for telling him but not being able to be the best parent. It was really scary and I felt like I had to juggle watching over both him and baby.

Fast forward to a few months ago, we decided to stop TTC because we both had other things we wanted to get done. I also was told I couldn’t have kids and that if one did end up coming, it wouldn’t stick, so I figured why keep trying. But we kept having unprotected sex. In the midst of that cycle, I got pregnant. Found out at a doctor appointment for something else.

What I’m thinking of doing is waiting until I’m our of first trimester, if she/he stays, and then tell his dad first so that he can help me to figure out how to tell my boyfriend. I feel bad for waiting but I don’t want him to have another mental break down while I’m in first trimester. Thankfully he’s doing a lot better and is going to appts, taking meds, etc. but It’s just too much to chance imo. Especially if baby will pass.