Communication

Hey guys

So my boyfriend of 1 year and I live together . When we aren’t fighting he is so kind and loving . As soon as get into a fight , he is like a different person !

If I say he’s done something to hurt me . Immediately he feels attacked . He will turn the problem onto me . I could say a 10 minute speech to him about how I feel upset and he will reply with something nit picky like “ it wasn’t 5 minutes it was 10 mins “. Time and time again I tell him all i want is to feel heard . I admit I am sensitive and cry when we fight . It’s mainly because I just feel so frustrated. I will try and talk first and then ask him to talk . As soon as it’s his turn he shuts down and says he has nothing to say or just says something that’s not constructive . He will always just get angry and close off . It’s really hard . He always says I speak over him so I will try and concise what I say and tell him to speak but he just says “ I’m done with this argument “ or doesn’t want to talk . If he does talk he will say “ I said sorry “. But he won’t have .

Even when we argue he won’t look at me , he shrugs . He will face away from me and give me really bad body language . I’m so different if I’ve hurt someone I will look at them in the face and listen , understand and apologise .

Whenever we fight and things get heated he will want space . I get that, I prefer to talk to people and sort things out . He’s even slammed a door in my face . It seems every fight he wants to walk away. Over a month ago we fight so many times , he said it’s because “ I nag him “ . But I do all the cooking and cleaning and his one job is the bin . He has forgotten multiple times and we have so much rubbish since we moved in 4 months ago which he hasn’t gotten around too. I’ve asked him so many times to “ help me to clean up the bins “ nicely . After so many times I’ll get mad. As soon as I’ll say “ can you just do it “ he gets so angry with me and says I need to watch how I word things . I’ll try and apologise but that doesn’t seem to be enough and he won’t listen and blame me .... it can be anything I feel like I can not communicate to him even about the smallest things .

I know I’m not perfect , I’m really trying . It is so hard when your partner won’t talk . His solution is to text me sorry . It seems he only feels remorse after like 2-24 hours apart . We never get to talk properly. Is this normal ? I’m not saying He’s all wrong , I have anxiety and I hate silence it scares me . I try really hard to give him space . Bit every fight I leave balling my eyes with frustration. It feels like he never takes any responsibility for his parts . I honestly don’t know what to do . Even if anyone has any advice on how to communicate with someone who cant I’d really appreciate it . Thanks guys