Adoption MIL Dramaaaa 🙃 Super long!

So, my husband and i have been ttc for 3.5 yrs. We had 2 miscarriages early in our marriagw and since then my periods have been whacky, i got diagnosed with PCOS & possibly endometriosis, my tubes and/or ovaries may be blocked & im exhausted with all of the tests and talk of surgeries and the thousands of dollars we have spent in just getting partial answers. SO instead of pursuing ttc any longer for the time being, we have talked deeply about adoption because there are kids who NEED homes & we have a home & love to give them. We are paying off the little debt we have (less than $5000) before starting the process but we want to adopt from foster care and/or foster to adopt.

SO, get this. My MIL and us have been having some major issues after i confided in my SIL about us ttc and she said she had no interest in having kids yet but then a month later planned a pregnancy and are SO pushy about the fact that they are having the first grand kid and give zero crap about the fact that we have struggled so badly & have lost 2 sweet babes, all the while my in laws pay their rent & give them anything and everything & refuse to help us no matter how much i have said this has taken a toll on us, emotionally & financially. (In the sense that we have literally NEVER asked anyone for help, got married right out of high school, everyone doubted our ability to support ourselves but we sure as hell have, we have a home, our own cars, full times jobs & we ultimately really just want a family) They handout everything to my BIL and her & i have pointed that out and nothing has changed.

ANYWAYS, so theres already issues there but then, i tell her we are going to pursue adoption. She proceeds to tell me all of the people she knows who have adopted infants and how difficult the process is blah blah blah. No support, other than saying at the end "But thats so awesome of you guys!" Then i tell her we are considering adoption of kids up to age 8 or 9 (if we were older we would do older kids but we are 21/22 so i dont think it would play out well) and this woman has the AUDACITY to tell me how difficult it will be for everyone to connect to any child that isnt an infant. So guess what. She wont have to 👋✌ It DISGUSTS me that someone would say that about future potential grandkids. But she wont have an issue 100% financially and emotionally supporting my BIL/SIL kid that my SIL isnt even excited about now.