So I met this guy, let’s call him Jake, last year around June. I was traveling throughout the states and was trying to get dick from every place I visited. (I also got off a two year relationship) He took me home the night I met him and contacted me the next day. Basically we spent the whole weekend together.

We kept in contact and eventually we went to a rave together with his friends, would meet up half ways and we will visit each other.

I enjoyed our communication and time spent together. For not being anything, just long distance fuck buddies my feelings got intertwined, but I kept doing me.

Anyways, he called once and verbally stated he is also doing him. I was shocked at how honest he was but I wasn’t upset or irritated. I wasn’t sure how to feel or what to say. So I ended up telling him “you do you, just don’t give me an std or get someone pregnant”

After that conversation, it went downhill. We lost our usual communication and I was kinda hurt. I never verbally told him how I felt bc I felt there was no need. We’re two states away from each other. However, I never felt sync with someone before. Growing up, we had similar experience that happen to us around the same time. We’ve been to the same festivals before we knew each other. During our downhill moment we tried to keep in contact and when we would talk we would have the same troubles. Also, we were at the same city at the same time during our downhill moment. (He called me drunk apologizing and mention he was in Oregon)

Also, our sexual chemistry was good. We had so much fun and besides the sex our chemistry was even better. We would have random people come up to us saying we make a good duo. Our friends would tell us we are a great team. One of his friends mentioned to me he never seen Jake so comfortable with a girl before.

Aghjhgh like we are sooo good for each other. We started helping each other out when it came down to investing in the stock market, school and even work. I think about him almost everyday and sometimes I just wanna call him and love him and just be how we use to be.

Wow I’m rereading my post and I sound obsessed with this guy.

Whatever, there is this really cool guy in my town and we been seeing each other for the past two months. He’s a really great guy. He has old fashion manners, gives me space and has his life put together.

I don’t know if I’m restricting myself from this really cool guy bc I’m still into Jake or bc I’m not emotionally available.

Maybe I shouldn’t put so much energy in guys.

I should put the energy into myself and keep this really cool guy for the time being.

My town is dry and everybody knows everybody.

Well that’s for taking your time to read my rant. I would appreciate some feedback that might help me overcome this scenario.

Thank you and stay healthy