Husband doesn't want sex

So this is more of a vent that asking advice sorry, but I just need to get this off my chest.

But we have 2 kiddies together, 3yo and 7m old.

Before we got pregnant with no.2 we were great together, we'd be flirty/touchy and have sex, it was fun. We did get pregnant very fast with him (2 months) and I was very sick at the start so we had some issues there.

He has sleep apnoea and was only able to get a cpap dec of last year so he used to sleep in another room cause he snores really bad and would wake me and bubs.

That was his original excuse for most the intimacy issues, that he didnt feel very intimate cause we weren't sharing a bed etc

Now we do, its always an excuse. He needs a shower, he's too tired, just plain doesn't want to.

Tonight was the tipping point for me though.

Lying in bed, cuddling, all is well. I started giving him a hj and he was hard quite fast saying he really enjoyed it.

He then asked if i was finishing him or it was just a hj. I said if he wanted sex, I would need some play too, obviously I wasn't ready to go.

He then kept asking what i wanted and i said me telling him what to do really kills the mood and surprise me. He kept aaying he really doesn't know what to do to help me and he ended up going silent and eventually just rolling over and going to sleep, didn't try to do anything, even after I suggested things.

Im now lying here feeling like im not good enough for him cause he will happily have me play with him, but when it comes to actual sex, he wont put in the effort.

Sorry this is so long but I just really needed to get this off my chest cause my self esteem is suffering horribly with us having sex about 5 times since bubs was born in Feb.