I feel so defeated

I feel myself falling deeper by the day into depression. I had an emergency c-section September of 2017 and lost my son at 27 weeks. It took me a really long time to start feeling like myself after that. I conceived him in the 1st cycle of trying of course I was 27 at the time.

So when my husband and decided to finally start trying again I was so excited and hopeful, I had finally lost some weight got back to my pre pregnancy weight from 2017, and was feeling good. We’ve done EVERYTHING and nothing. Every month I get my hopes up and another little piece of my heart just breaks off.

I don’t know how much more I can take, I don’t know how much more my marriage can take and just saying that breaks my heart even more. I’m still in my tww @ 11DPO and negative. But everything in my heart and soul tells me this will not be my month 😔.