I am 30 years old and this will be my third child but fourth pregnancy I explained and the father of the baby is 42 going to be 43 in December neither one of us were expecting to have another baby because for the two years we were nearly together not once did we use contraceptives and here we are two years later almost welcoming a baby into the world which will be his third child as well he's got a boy and a girl who are 22 and 20 and actually his daughter has her first daughter who just turned one and then his son had his little boy who just turned one at the beginning of August and is just now announcing that they're expecting baby number two the girls just about 8 to 10 weeks pregnant I'm so excited for them I'm excited for me and him but more into the story...

So this is technically my fourth pregnancy however in 2017 I did miscarry I kind of lost myself for a while after losing the baby and as I was finding myself again and of me and this baby's Daddy being together for almost 2 years the 4th of October will be 2 years man him found out at the beginning of July we would be welcoming a precious baby come March 2021 I'm nervous because I skipped all of my first trimester appointments I never went to another scheduled one because I was afraid that if I went to one and they told me something was wrong I would just lose myself again so I waited until after I made it through my first trimester and I was 13 weeks and 2 days when I went in for my first appointment now I'm due back in my doctor's office on Tuesday so I will be just under 15 weeks and I'm waiting to get the results on whether it's a boy or a girl based off the maternity 21 and I'm extremely anxious and nervous cuz I should have it yet heard the baby's heartbeat haven't seen an ultrasound they just did the first prenatal appointment kind of like they would any other one and then sent me out for my blood work this pregnancy is different than both of my pregnancies but they've got some similarities so I don't know what I'm having I've had a daughter who's 11 going on 12 and then my son who is 5 and just turned it in May so like I sleep all the time like I did with my daughter I can never get enough sleep no matter how hard I try I don't I just don't get enough nauseous like crazy like I was with my son like with my son I ended up being diagnosed with hyperemesis and I'm still getting nauseous and getting sick so I'm wondering if I'm going to have that again this pregnancy which I really hope I don't and I don't wish that on any of you mamas that is rough I guess I will just wait for my test to find out whether it comes back showing girl or boy or maybe going for my ultrasound hopefully next week please keep your fingers crossed for me cuz I'm still scared I'm going to lose this baby for some reason I know I made it through the first trimester but I'm so afraid they're going to tell me something's wrong