My fiance and I have a son and have been together for 8 years and after we had our child. His mom has been around more and I've gotten to know her. She has tried to take over the household in her own way not in an extreme way but almost like . This is my sons home (we both split bills). And she can be a difficult person to deal with. She is very passive aggressive and knows her son is blinded by her and she can say anything. His own sister even said. If she were to kill my children he would say..well what were they doing. Its been really difficult for me because I don't even like it when my family speaks to me in an aggressive tone or is rude. So I have tried to tell her that my feelings were hurt by her. And she took it as me telling her to back off which the only thing I said is I didn't think you meant to be rude or realized these things hurt me. But my feelings were hurt. And for some reason she felt like I was saying not to be a mother to her son. Which I never even mentioned her son. And said she didn't remember doing any of those things and in that same conversation she ended up saying she didn't think they were rude. So do you not remember? Or you didn't think they were rude? We have tried and I can be respectful and cordial. But to be honest you can't force a relationship. Especially when my fiance keeps making comments when we watch TV and there's a mil situation and he says. You don't like my mom. Etc. It just brings more issues. He basically wants me to kiss her ass and accept her for who she is. So basically, she raised her voice at me multiple times and has rolled her eyes at me, etc. And people keep telling me thats who she is and she isn't going to change. Great. But aren't I able to say I don't like that ? I understand respect but to allow someone to be rude to you because that's the way they are doesn't seem right to me. But I told him I would try to build a relationship with his mom but I asked if he were to stop making those comments because it makes things worse and I don't know but it turned into another argument and he got mad because I repeated that I took a big step and this is what I need from him. Because I can't be the only one trying. And I have been going through a lot this year (everyone has) and mentally this is going to be difficult to be around someone who isn't a very nice person at times . And no one has even validated how bad I felt. They said I am sorry you took it that way. Or it hurt you but that's how they are, it wasnt even like that. This makes me sad and I can't even speak to him about being stressed or hurt because he is blinded by his mom. Im confused.