I feel exhausted...I’m tired, I’m sad, I feel lonely and yet I’m going from store to store to buy my mom something nice with the little money I have for her birthday. I get home to take care of the dog, do my chores, cook, and eat. I’m waiting for it to be your break time and waiting for my phone to light up and it doesn’t...

I wait and wait and nothing. So I call you and you tell me your watching your show and you ask about how the car is doing. As I start to tell you, we get interrupted by your coworker. I wait for 5 minutes and then you’re back. But you seem in a rush to get off the phone. I ask about your day and what your coworker was telling you about the parts you guys were building and I get short answers. I stay quiet hoping you’d ask about my day at work, what I got my mom, the dog, dinner, anything honestly...and you say we should get off the phone so you can watch your show.

I’m so used to being in a house filled with dogs and all my siblings and my parents all talking and laughing...now that I’ve moved out- its so quiet and lonely since you took that night shift. I eat dinner alone, I come home to an empty house, and any time I bring it up to you, you tell me its temporary and I gotta learn to be alone and independent. It’s been a little over two months and I hate it. I do chores, I cook, I do yoga, I paint, and yet I still feel lonely. Even when I have music playing or a show in the background...it’s not the same as if you were here. I find a funny video and there’s no one to show it to, I want a second opinion on what I cooked and there’s no one. When it’s time to go to bed, I turn off the light and turn over to an empty bed, it’s dark and quiet and it’s just not for me. I love to hear you laugh, I love playing video games with you, I love to play pranks on each other, I love our tickle fights, I love being intimate with you...I love just being around you.

But you’ll never understand how I feel. I tell you and you’re not sympathetic at all. You make me feel like I’m a kid who can’t deal with being alone, but that’s not it. I just hate having to do everything by myself and on the weekend you’re so focused on relaxing and enjoying your own time alone that I feel like we barely spend any time together. Just you and me, no cellphones, no console, no laptop- just us. But ig that’s not important to you...💔