Don’t want to go to baby shower

Ok, before I go on it’s gonna be long but bear with me... I have been ttc for over a year with no luck, and I don’t want to go to my sister in laws baby shower. I know babies should be celebrated but I feel so bitter that she didn’t even want a baby and wanted an abortion when that’s all I’ve wanted ... I told my husband and he said honestly he doesn’t care and we don’t have to go, but I feel so terrible even saying that ☹️☹️