First birthday with daddy 🥺🥺

My son turned 2 on the 3rd me and his father were together over 8 years we broke up back in April and on august 17th his daddy committed suicide, how I feel in this point in my life is unreal I don’t even know what I’m posting this for but idk how I’m gonna get through this how can I do this, my life is a fucking shit show and I never excepted this is to my life in a million years