Not attached to baby yet?

Today I had my NT scan and I got to see my little girl jumping around. She looked absolutely adorable, but I got this weird feeling that I’m not attached to her like she’s not really mine. It’s absolutely insane because this is an IVF baby and we have prayed and cried so hard for this little miracle, but now that I’m pregnant I feel like she’s a complete stranger. I almost resented her today because it brought back so many happy memories of when I was pregnant with my son and got to see him on the ultrasound with my husband next to me getting so excited. This pregnancy has had so many scary moments of bleeding and doctors telling me the pregnancy wasn’t viable even up to 8 weeks because of scary measurements and tests, so maybe I’m just afraid to let myself get attached? I also feel like I can’t get too excited because I don’t want to ever feel like my son is being replaced. It’s been a very strange experience going through all of my appointments and ultrasounds alone this time due to Covid-19, and it makes me feel like my husband isn’t a part of this or connected to this baby at all so I almost feel guilty about that as well. Ugh I just have so many emotions 😩

I’m sorry this turned into a rant, but does anyone else feel similar? If you have more than 1 baby, were you ever worried about replacing your first born with the new strange baby in your ultrasounds?