The next steps I’m not ready for

So back story on 9/11 this year I had surgery to be diagnosed with endometriosis well one hour surgery turned into 3 hour surgery it was so bad it spread to my appendix and kidneys. I was told the news I had a dream about the week before I can only have one more baby and I have to have all my stuff removed. Now tomorrow I have to go on Lupron because my doctor wants to stop my periods for 6 months it’s not a form of birth control it’s the chemical treatment for endometriosis my mental health is already down the drain and tomorrow it’s second to last step to having my last baby I hope I will get my rainbow baby I’ve lost 3 and have no living kids