Helppp!! 😞

I’m not sure how so many of you handle TTC with such grace cause I’m pissed and hurt and I just can’t!

Here’s the facts:

-Healthy pregnancy 2015 5yo LO

-2018 after 1 year of trying ectopic pregnancy lost right tube

-2 more years of trying

-10/20/20 finally got my Vvvfl positive

-10/20/20 HCG 14

-10/21/20 still vvvfl maybe slightly darker

-10/22/20 (today) line hasn’t gotten darker

-More blood work today..

- can’t go buy period to see how far along I am because extremely irregular

- had to have conceived on the 3rd or 10th of October

- either 3w 6d or 4w 6d

- now I have slight brown/pink discharge so light I almost missed it

How in the world do you ladies handle this?! Some of you have had so so much more loss than me... I’m so mad that I have to deal with all of this when there is so many out there that have it so easy. What the hell did I do to deserve this?! And then I feel guilty for feeling that way cause there is way better women out there than me that deal with way more than me! Atleast I have a kid right.. I should be thankful right.. but right now all I feel is anger and hurt.