I need your really honest advice.

I'm thinking of leaving my fiancé. There are so many reasons ill try to explain a few.

Some background on us. We have been togethe since he was 16 and I was 14. We moved in together after 2.5 years. We had our first child at 18 and 20 and our second 18 months later. Currently I'm 21, he's 23 and our children are 1 and 2 (3 in december). So we've been together 6.5 years.

Everything has happened quite fast but its not been a problem. Everything changed this year. Its been a real shit year for us and not even because of the pandemic. He's lost 4 family members/family friends in the past 6 months (not due to covid) and one of those was is dad and he found him. He's had a lot to deal with. I get that but things just aren't getting better and it has nothing to do with the deaths just us. I feel no love from him. He goes out with his work mates and never offers to take me out. Never plans anything. Whenever I ask if we could do something maybe at the weekend go for a meal or go bowling etc he says ill see if I'm at work or not and doesn't give me an answer until the day I suggested to go and then it turns out he's at work and even if he wasn't its too short notice to ask someone to babysit the children. He shows no appreciation for anything I do for him and he literally doesn't have 1 job in the house to do that I don't already do. He doesn't offer to help me or just take it upon himself to help me. He comes home and he couldn't seem more unhappier if he tried. He just doesn't want to be here I can see it. He doesn't greet me. No hello. No kiss. No cuddle. Just comes in cuddles the kids and sits on his phone. I know I've been putting up with this for way to long and everyone is starting to see how unhappy he is making me, members from both mine and his family are commenting on it to me but no one is saying anything to him? Its all why you still with him? Why don't you leave him? No questions to him. I've tried talking to him and he just thinks I'm making it out to be all his fault and he starts shouting and says whats the point its my fault anyway we aren't going to get anywhere so there's no point talking and then nothing gets sorted.

When we are good we are great and I love him so much. But when things are bad they are really bad and I'm really good at separating my feelings from situations so I feel nothing towards him. I just want him to leave and I just feel numb. I hate looking at his face because he never looks happy or like he actually wants to be here or with us.

I rely on him 100% financially which was what we had to decide when I found out I was pregnant whilst in college. I quit to become a SAHM. I am doing a learn from home childcare course so I can eventually work in a nursery when my kids are full time at school. He works 13hr shifts 6-7 days a week. They are not required. Hes self employed and chooses to work that much. He sometimes comes home late when I'm in bed by 10-11pm and doesn't even come to bed. He sleeps on the sofa.

I know I can be a single mum I basically already am. But money wise. I'm scared to leave. I don't know how I would go about getting help. I have no one to look after my children at all so I can work. So I don't know what I would do. I'm scared to leave because of the children. They see there dad because we live together. But if we didn't, Im scared he would just forget about them. He doesn't care for them at all. He doesn't do one thing for them. no baths, meals, doesn't take them out. He plays with them until he gets bored then he's back on his phone. I don't want them to live without a dad. I did and me and my dad hardly speak now. We live round the corner from him and we don't see each other at all. I feel so guilty putting my children through this. It was something I never ever wanted for my children. And now here I am considering it. I've not told anyone I'm thinking about it. I have no one to tell. Everyone thinks he's a great guy because he works and pays for everything but he's not interested in us as a couple. He hasn't said that but I know he couldn't care less. I need him to tell me how he really feels but I don't know how to get it out of him. Please offer some advice if you can. I know I need to get out of this. I just don't know how yet. Homelife is unbearable or violent or a generally bad environment for the children or else id be gone instantly. Its just be bicker can't agree. I resent him for his freedom and the fact he does what he wants when he wants and makes no time for us as a couple or us all as a family. I don't know what to do.