Am I overreacting ? LONG

I have a 3 month old baby with my boyfriend and a 2 year old from before him. A little backstory is that him and I began talking when I was pregnant with my oldest. I was pregnant from a one night stand that chose not to have anything to do with it, and he was a family friend. He knew the situation and we started talking when I was about 3 months pregnant. Not dating but we were sort of more than friends if that makes sense. I just felt weird doing anything while I was pregnant. So we didn’t actually start dating until my baby was about 8 months old (so for about 16 months we’ve been dating) . Four months into our official relationship I got pregnant again unexpectedly as I was on the Depo shot.

Anyway so you’ve seen hes been in my sons life before he was even born, and now we have a 3 month old daughter together. He said it himself he wants my son to view him as his dad, so my son calls him dad and everything. He’s a great guy for the most part. He has a stable job, doesn’t party, is respectful and kind. He’s never raised his voice at me or disrespected me. But my problem is this : he doesn’t spend a lot of time with us.

We don’t live together but we’re saving up to buy a house. So usually he does his own thing then comes to see us in the evenings then goes home. He doesn’t see a problem with seeing us for only a few hours every day. Sometimes not even every day. Like right now it’s 5 pm and I haven’t seen him nor has he mentioned whether he’s coming. When he works he goes in at 6 am, gets off at 2 pm. He works maybe 20 minutes away but he usually doesn’t make it here until 4 pm ish and leaves around 8:30 pm because he has to be up early . On Wednesday’s and thursdays we don’t see him because he takes a class from 6-8 pm and apparently he can’t stop by after work before he has to go to class. On the weekends he usually doesn’t text me until around noon. Yesterday which was Saturday he messaged me saying he was working on his car at 1 pm. Then he came over around 7 pm 😐 When he’s away he doesn’t message me often , today he messaged me maybe 3 times and about random things. Once letting me know he was cleaning out his truck which he does every weekend apparently. But when he’s here’s he’s always on his damn phone. If he’s feeding the baby a bottle he’ll be on his phone with one hand, or if she cries he doesn’t even try to calm her down correctly, and it bothers me that he’s not being present . Also he refuses to change dirty diapers . His excuse is he doesn’t ask me to change a tire so I shouldn’t ask him to change a diaper. Like how tf does that even make sense??

When I’ve brought it up tht he’s not here as much as he should be he says he’s here as much as he can be because he has other things to do. Like work on his car, help his dad , sort through mail, run errands. And I just want to yell at him like does he not think I dont also have to do chores and errands? Yet he doesn’t see me telling the kids “sorry I can’t be a mom right now, I have to go get groceries”. Or something like that. I’m also a full time student taking 19 credits online and I work part time from home. But he doesn’t see me dropping the kids off to him while I do my own thing. I just don’t think he does enough as a father. I’m the one that gets up in the night with her, feeds her, bathed her, changes her, does laundry, everything basically. He gets here to hold her, maybe give a bottle and that’s it. And I don’t ask him to do anything for my son even though he claims to view him as his own.

I get he works full time and is making more money than I am but it’s not like he gives me any of that or pays my bills to say he’s providing for us. He gave me $1000 when the baby was born 3 and a half months ago. I didn’t ask for it but he gave it. And since then he hasn’t given me anything. Not that I’m asking or saying I need his money I’m just saying he’s not providing for us to use that as an excuse. Am I overreacting? Please be honest. I just dontknow if I should bring it up again. But I feel like a single mom and idk if being in this relationship is working or worth it .