Herpes

It’s such a tabu subject... Im grateful to have this anonymous forum to talk about this issue.

I found out I had herpes while I was married... I have a very mild case I guess, I thought I had an out break 2 years before meeting my husband but I brushed it off because it was literally 1 bump and then it never happened again.

After landing a full time job and great insurance, I asked my Dr to run a full STD panel during a routine Pap smear because it was still lingering in the back of my head. When the panel came back it came back positive for HSV2.

I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him. Would he think I was cheating? Dirty? I just didn’t feel comfortable telling him, so I made a conscience decision and kept this a secret, for a very long time. I know it’s SO wrong... I literally couldn’t bring myself to tell him because I knew he would leave me... and eventually when I did finally tell him, he did leave me.

He never contracted the virus. I was so scared I wouldn’t touch him if I even though a bump was there. I also took a medicine to suppress the virus.

He said it was me lying to him that he couldn’t get over, and I guess I can totally see his side. I was wrong.

I thought we had a good marriage and I’m devastated that he left. Though I do understand the trust issues that I created by waiting so long to tell him.

My question is this... how do I go forward with being honest about this in relationships?

I just tried to date again for the first time since the divorce and I told my new love interest right away about my HSV2 diagnosis and he didn’t want anything to do with me after I told him.

Am I going to be alone forever??