I feel like I’m going crazy

With COVID and all the strain on my relationship with my partner of 11 years has been real! This year it seems like he’s angry all of the time, I can’t seem to do anything right. He always has an issue with something I’m doing or not doing. Whenever I cook, he’ll stand over me and ask me questions like, is the pan even hot or why are you doing it this way and not that way.

Today I swear the only things he’s said to me have been issues he’s had with something I’ve done or not done. I’ve told him many times that I don’t like the way he speaks to me, that I feel like he’s constantly angry with me and that it hurts my feelings that he feels he has to scold me and tell me off all of the time instead of talking to me like an equal. I tell him that I wish he didn’t have to be so abrasive and rude and The response I get is sorry you feel that way. You are talking like I’m being abusive or something and I’m not. He says that I can’t take criticism and that it’s just that I don’t like being called to task. (Background info: even with a back injury and being pregnant I am the only one in the house who dusts, vacuums, mops and cleans the bathroom, the day to day stuff isn’t as up to date as usual due to energy levels, fatigue and morning sickness but today he cleaned the kitchen oh and full disclosure I’m hopeless with laundry. I have a chair piled with clothes that need to be put away and a laundry basket of dirty stuff that is overflowing! Definitely not perfect but technically I do more than my fair share of house work. )

I got to the point tonight where I said, I don’t deserve to be treated like a naughty child or dog. The way that you speak to me hurts me. I’m telling you my truth and you’re not willing to take any responsibility, you just put it back on me. He keeps on asking me to give him specific examples of what I wasn’t happy with and when he was rude. I give him the examples and he says that’s not what he said or how he said it. I told him that I don’t wish to have another “he said she said” conversation and if he’s not going to take responsibility and he’s just going to blame me, then I need him to give me some space. (He’ll often come find me if I’m resting just to have it out with me)

It makes me feel so sad, I’m having our second child and he doesn’t even seem to care. He just goes on about how he’s so stressed and how everything is hard for him and all of the things that I’m not doing right or that I haven’t done for the house or our son. He doesn’t even ask me how I’m feeling and gets angry when I say I need to rest after cooking dinner and washing our son.

I’m at the point where I’m wondering if it is maybe all me? Am I the problem here? I feel like I’m always failing despite doing everything I can. I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough. Anyone have any ideas on how to improve things? I literally don’t know what to do anymore. I just want some peace and a harmonious environment for my family. Please help.