How do I help?

Question

How do I help my sister out of an abusive relationship? Recently I found out that my sister’s boyfriend has been abusing her. It started to get worrying when he would isolate her and refuse to let her get a job. She still doesn’t want to admit what he’s doing and it concerns me that she’s staying with him. They have a daughter together who’s 2 and she’s terrified of her own father. I don’t know exactly how to help her out without him flipping out and doing something to them. I wanna help before it gets worse.

Answer

Just be there for her, that's all you can really do until she is ready to leave him. You don't want to force anything because as long as she isn't ready, he'll probably keep you away from both of them and you won't know what's going on..

Answer

You don’t. She has to want to help herself before anyone can step in in any way.

Answer

If the daughter is scared, I would look into making a report with CPS. Maybe also document the things she tells you, that way she can use it when/if she decided to leave and go for custody or to get him arrested

Answer

You really can’t do anything until she wants to change it.

Answer

I definitely think calling CPS is something you should do. But you also have to be careful about how much you could potentially piss him off because unfortunately he will most likely take out his anger on your sister (or even your niece). 
I would get her alone away from him & just  tell her, “Hey. If you want out I’m 100% here to help you & your daughter. All I ask is that you commit to it once you’re done.”
If she decides to leave best thing to do is call the cops, explain the situation & have them escort her around the house to get her & her daughters stuff. Then she needs to tell the cops she wants a PPO (restraining order) for her AND her daughter.

Answer

Call CPS.

Answer

The best thing you can do is continue to support her and be there when she needs it. You shouldn’t try to intervene too much or he will isolate her from you too, and that’s the last thing you want. I know this suggestion is going to feel like you aren’t doing anything, but I’ve been in a similar relationship and didn’t leave until I was ready because I couldn’t see what others did.

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