Mom won’t let be go..

I’m a 21F and I’m not allowed to live my life.. last year I wanted to go to New York to visit my boyfriend instead of him having to come all the way to me again and again.. it isn’t fair to him.. when I asked her she busted out into tears instantly telling me not to leave her, I shouldn’t go over there idk him his family etc (I’ve been with him for 4 years and spoken to his family)

I want to move out, but she wants it to be close. She even said they’ll buy a property with 2 houses on the land.. I don’t wanna live like that, I want my own place. She said she’ll move near to me as close as possible but I need someone to live with “aka my boyfriend who’s in college in a different state he can’t leave yet” She’s even calls herself a “helicopter parent”.. ok? Where does my life start.

I have an absolute fear of driving I’ve only driven for my drivers test, I don’t wanna live like this, She doesn’t even want me to get a job “I should focus on school” I’ve never had a job besides help work for my dad at home. I’m 21 I didn’t just turn 18. I have no money to my name, no car, no freedom. I can’t even speak to her about it because she claims I’m trying to leave her and it’s my boyfriends fault..

Idk where to start, I don’t want her hurt, but I’m hurt, I’m ready for MY life to begin.. with no money, car, job - where do I start? I don’t even know where to begin, I can’t even speak it out my own mother. And I definitely will NOT speak with my “dad” please help...

EDIT: My mom doesn’t work, clean, make dinner, or do anything we order food everyday, my dad makes all the money, does the dishes, laundry, and I do some cleaning (which is hard because she says she’ll do it but will never get off the couch) And plus she’s not paying for my school (BECAUSE IM NOT EVEN IN SCHOOL) she doesn’t know the last thing about me.

She talks about me going to meet my boyfriend? But yet she did the same THING, met a guy over the internet who was across the ocean, flew there with a 4yr old instead of him coming over for the first time..

My boyfriend has come over and stayed at our house she knows him, plus he’s not even across the ocean he’s in a different state.

And about the moving out thing I expressed to her about the danger I felt in the house towards my “dad” and what he’d do towards me. Disgusting. She’d rather make excuses than help me towards getting where I need to be.

But hey as long as I stay with her.