I took back a cheater, TWICE! After the second incident ( work affair), he showed he me wanted to work on our marriage by leaving his job and getting counselling. We've had no issues now for two years.

Today I get a phone call from him while he's at work. I answer and he doesn't respond, I say hello and listen a bit for back grounded to try establish if he's in trouble (you never know) or if it's just a pocket dial.

Well, it turns out it's just a pocket dial. But I'm nosy and he and his coworker are talking about their partners so I listen for a bit more. Then his coworker mentions something about meeting someone new, I'm not sure if he's married or not, what would my husband do. My husband responds and the guy says that he doesn't seem like that type. Then my husband says that there's this woman he really wants to talk to but she wants nothing to do with him. I know instantly he's talking about the woman he had the affair with.

The coworker asks why doesn't she want anything to do with him and my husband said, obviously to save face, that her husband found messages between them and now she doesn't want anything to do with him. Yes, she was also married with two kids to boot but I was the one who found the messages.

My stupid, stupid heart first thinks OK maybe he just said that to be Mr. Cool or whatever and he doesn't really want to speak to her. But then my brain says, but why is he thinking of her at all that he would say that.

And I just feel so stupid. I feel like so many years have been wasted now, I should have just left him three years ago when I caught them the first time. I'm such an idiot.