Am I being selfish?

My husband got offered a position for Tesla but he would have to move.

That would mean he would only be home on the weekends.

I have battled with depression before we met and it faded a bit while we were together but I still had episodes.

I am currently pregnant and about to give birth to our first child soon. If he get the job our son will only be a month old.

For some reason I’ve been feeling so alone lately but how right? I have a beautiful baby growing in me.

I don’t think I’ll be able to handle doing this on my own with him only being home on the weekends.

I’ll have my family to help me here and there.

For some reason the image that keeps popping up in my head is me leaving my baby home alone and I just end up taking my life somehow. I’m so scared, I feel like I’m not ready to be a mom even though it’s what I’ve been longing for for years.

I used to get so depressed when I would get a negative test, cry myself to sleep & think about committing suicide.. now that I have what I wanted I still feel a little sad like I don’t want to do this anymore.