A rant...

So after having my child I realized how toxic and abusive my parents were growing up. Some quick examples without boring you, I would have bought my child a bed before buying myself a Michael Kors bag. I would have moved out and lived on my friends couch before allowing my child to be beaten with my mother’s cane on a daily basis. I would also NOT attack my child while she was holding her two week old. Not to mention the boundaries I set that they completely ignored. The list goes on but basically I decided I don’t need my child experiencing any of the shit I went through, so I cut out my mom and dad.

Not only do I live thousands of miles away from them and my MIL, who is a godsend, I don’t have much communication with anyone. Don’t get me wrong I knew what I was getting myself into but this shit isn’t fun. I don’t know why I’m posting this or if I’m looking for anything I’m just fucking tiiiired. I have a 6 month old and I’m 10 weeks pregnant and I just need a break or someone to watch my baby while I clean my house.

I have no one here that is taking RSV or COVID seriously so I’m completely alone.

My husband works 12 hour overnight shifts and takes the baby to let me sleep or clean when he can but he’s just as exhausted.

Idk I just never imagined having a baby would be this lonely when all my friends told me over and over they’d be here to help me and quite literally all of them have abandoned me.

I’m just tired.