Dealing w Preggo harmones & Depression

Hi Im 20 and my sister is about 3 or 4 months pregnant & I’m guessing she has different mood swings which is fine i get it but im also going through depression thats steams from parents death and just being the black sheep of the family... everytime i get a little focus on me it seems something a tad bit worse happens and im pushed right at the end of the line again & its so hard for me to stay focus w/o wanting to off my self .. like sometimes i feel as if things would be better w/o me in the picture. Im just tired and i really ant to give up.