Friend trouble

It is 12:40 on December 27, 2020 and I am crying because Ik in my best friend’s eyes I am second and always will be. I try to be the best I can be and Ik she is going thru a hard time right now and I’m there in every way possible but no matter what She always turns to someone else. I don’t tell her a fraction of what I’m thinking and feeling because if I do I feel like she will drop me so I am suffering in silence. What brought on this certain wave of emotions is that yesterday night December 26, 2020 after 2 weeks of not talking to a friend who calls her racial slurs and hits her she has made up with her. Now Ik that doesn’t seem like it would affect me that much but it does because I used to be friends with that friend too and I was Tired of being friends with her while she mentally beat me to a pulp. It was the three of us and then we stopped being friends only 2 of us my best friend and I were still friends after this breakup my best friend looked me in my eyes and said I will Not leave you after she left my house I did not have a full conversation with her in 7 months. One night she finally texted me I fucked up and wanted to meet me to talk I had her make a couple of promises to me before I could even think about Trusting her again and she promised me that she wouldn’t treat someone better and she would treat us equally going back to yesterday after less than 2 weeks she made amends with the other friend and I’m here stunned and feeling bad about myself Because she didn’t talk to me for 7 months but couldn’t go 2 weeks without talking to the other friend and I’m just majorly hurt and I’m supposed to see her (socially distanced) next week and idk what to do and how to even face her without breaking Down. I just need some advice about what to do when I face her and if I should even bring this up, thank you. ❤️