Gender disappointment

*Please no hate*

So yesterday we found out that our last baby and our Rainbow baby is another boy (we have a 4year old son). I am so utterly heartbroken and upset. Throughout this whole pregnancy so far I felt deep in my bones that this was our baby girl finally. I had completely different symptoms than with my 1st pregnancy. I’ve tried to talk myself out of this for the last 24hrs but I'm still really upset about it being a boy, I feel guilty for feeling this way but I can't help it. I don't want another boy. I'm currently at work and every time I think about the fact it's a boy, I want to/ start to cry. I know it's going to sound horrible and unmotherly but I'm so crushed that it's not a girl, I don't even want to be pregnant or think about the fact that I'm pregnant with another boy. I hate that he is a boy and not the girl I hoped and dreamed for since starting a family. I don’t want more dump trucks, race cars, super hero’s, GI joes.... I wanted my girl that I could braid her hair, watch princess movies with, buy matching dresses and outfits, play Barbie dolls together. I know I should be thankful that it is a healthy and strong boy, but this feeling of utter disappointment (and almost grief) is crushing me.