Too scared to test

According to glow, I'm four days late for AF. I've been ttc for over a year now, and I don't think I can handle much more disappointment. I'm honestly too scared to take a test because I just know that it is going to be negative. I don't have any pregnancy symptoms except for missing AF and some wattery, slippery cm. No signs of AF comming anytime soon either. I think that my body just likes to screw with me. I really don't know what to do. I guess I.just needed to vent.