Okay so 2 weeks ago, after Christmas I suddenly get this hit of anxiety that something is possibly wrong with me😳😟 and I’m scared. And this is the reason why. Back in late September going on early October, I tried to have sexual intercourse but it didn’t work out because I was to excited and nervous at the same time! So really nothing happened between us.

I asked “my partner” if he’s clean of infections or diseases he told me yes. He doesn’t have anything, but now I don’t believe that because after I came home from Maryland over the Christmas holidays I notice a few spots on my arms 🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️😭. So I told my mom about my sexual experience and she told emailed her doctor so I can get checked/examine and nothing! My mom hasn’t heard from her 🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️! And now I see this pink spot on the back of my tongue and I’m just freaking out! For 2 weeks straight I’ve been freaking of constant worry and fear and all I do I cry at night and shake my leg because I can’t help with the fact I possibly have something!

I don’t even know what to call the person that I tried to have sex with because I really don’t speak to him anymore but on New Year’s <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a> I asked him again bout his sexual status and again he told me he’s clean and that he had to get surgery so he doesn’t have anything! But why don’t I believe that 😔😭😭😭😭. I can’t help but cry and have dreams that something is wrong with my sexual health and I can’t help myself but to think negative. My mothers doctor has to hurry up so I can get an appointment to be examined and know that I’m okay. But that’s also bothering me too.

I have dreams that I’m at the doctors office and I get bad news or good news. But I’m afraid to know because I won’t be able to handle the pain I’ll have to go through 😰😰😰😰! Sorry for this long paragraph but I have to get this off my mind and want to talk someone about this 😭😭😭😩😔😔😞😞😞🥺🥺☹️😢😢😢. I wish I didn’t try to have sex that night because now I’m over here crying and can’t help myself with this constant fear of anxiety!!!!!!

I really hate myself right now 😔😭😭