My parent’s house is killing my mother.

In October of this year I began therapy. There are a long list of underlying issues that I need it for. But my main reasoning for going was because of my family. My family is very loving and close knit in a sense. My childhood was very dysfunctional to say the least and to make a long story short my father is an alcoholic with a short temper who would do anything to make sure his family was always taken care of. But that’s strictly in a financial aspect. All other aspects are a disaster.

My whole life my family has always been a little dirty. When I was younger it was mild in comparison to now. But I still always knew I grew up a little differently than everybody else and for a long time part of me resented my family for the embarrassment. My parents always blamed it on us kids. But now my brother and I have moved out and grown up and their house is in the worst condition ever.

To try and sum this up without a whole life story my parents current house is cluttered, riddled with pests which I believe are mainly mice, the smell is awful as they have three dogs and three cats who are not well trained, and there is extensive and prominent mold damage. Which has begun to eat away at the floors causing them to feel soft and to seep in a few specific areas of the home. But my parents either don’t notice or are willfully ignorant to the issue, because they want to ignore it. They refuse to move because they can’t buy a home and won’t find somebody to rent to them that will let them keep their animals.

In December my grandmother passed extremely unexpectedly. A few weeks later my mother had a stroke and was admitted to the hospital. In the following weeks she has found out that this has been an ongoing issue. She has had nearly ten stories over an unknown course of time the doctors say. She is missing blood vessels in her head and will not have to undergo chemotherapy (although she does not have cancer) and potentially brain surgery.

I have done my fair share of research on mold exposure over the last few years, because my brother and I had health problems that slowly dissipated after moving out, and I whole heartedly believe that their house is killing my mother. She is only 50 years old and has been healthy her whole life until the years following moving into the home. I don’t know what to do or say. She has made it very clear that they “have no options” but to stay in this house. They have options they just don’t like the consequences, getting rid of the animals.

I can’t continue to watch this happen to my family any longer. That’s what my goal in therapy was, to tell them and hopefully be able to help them. But with my grandmother dying at the holidays and now all of the health problems I’m almost afraid that causing that sort of disruption could worsen my moms condition by putting more stress onto her. I don’t know if anybody else has been through anything similar. My grandma didn’t have life insurance and my family has been hit hard and I can’t afford my therapy now. So I guess I’m just reaching here to see if anybody could offer any advice until I can get back into my therapist. I feel very helpless.