I got my son taken away from me when he was 8. I was so selfish and did just awful things I will never forgive myself for. I have finally started getting my life back together. He's 16 now and we haven't talked in 5 years. He's been with his foster mom for about 8 years. I am currently fighting to get him back and we have been having court. The last time we went to court he said he did not want to go with me and he wants to stay with his mom and he was crying. My lawyer was telling me that since I've been clean and doing what I'm supposed to I have a good chance of getting him home, but seeing him cry like that... I think I missed my chance to be his mother. Me getting him back would be for my happiness, not his. I've been selfish all my life and I think I need to start putting him first. And they may include letting him go and letting her adopt him. I fucked up 8 years of his life. His foster mom spent another 8 years trying to repair what I had done... And now I'm here trying to take that away from him. I think I should just leave hima alone. I want to at least write him a letter saying I will leave alone until he decides or if he decides to come to me one day. I feel taking him away from his home is selfish and I should just stop bothering him. Am I making the right decision....