In desperate need of a vent sesh.

Tested negative... again...

We’ve been trying since the end of 2018 after a 10 year stent with BC. First month off, diagnosed with a ruptured ovarian cyst and PCOS. Was told to try for a year on our own (knew it wasn’t going to work if you don’t ovulate) but we did with no success.

Moved and saw a new dr. Started on femara and occasionally provera to start a period when needed. For the most part, periods were fairly regular. We tried for 6 months, had peak ovulation tests, but no success.

Was referred to a specialist in Cincinnati. In first meeting, dr said he thought with my history, this would be pretty easy to treat and that I probably wouldn’t be a patient there long. I was feeling so hopeful!

Started on clomid(100 mg) and metformin (not terribly

Overweight but can afford to lose some). Start weight watchers and eat super clean. Did great with metformin until I upped to the full dose. I got sick all the time but found when I didn’t eat clean, I didn’t feel as bad. So weird. So I struggled with metformin although feel like I’m on track with it now but haven’t ate the best.

First round of clomid and an US later show no follicles. Do another round of clomid (10 days straight) and up the dose to 150 mg. Talk about crazy hot flashes! US again, we have a follicle! Do my trigger and first <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a> ( husbands count is 👍🏻) and then we wait.

As we get closer to testing, I have spotting ( implantation🤞🏻), super sore breasts (never have that), and tinges around my uterus I have never felt before. It was sounding promising. A few days before testing I experienced severe lower abdomen pain. So sharp it stopped me in my tracks. It passed and a few day later and another pregnancy test, no success.

Knowing that the first <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a> isn’t often successful, I keep an open mind and move to the next cycle. Unfortunately, period didn’t want to start had had to take progesterone. Start back with clomid, and US again shows no follicles. Start back on Clomid for another 5 days ( total of 10... whew, hot flashes!) and US again. 2 follicles! Do the trigger and <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a> then play the waiting game.

This time, no symptoms like the last. Minor headache, some colored discharge but nothing crazy. Being that I felt completely different from last time, I was having high hopes! Test this morning, no success.

I’m tired. Frustrated. Sad. So many things.

With every negative I feel more like a failure. With every new pregnancy announcement from friends and family, although I am so happy for them, it’s a reminder that it’s not my turn and I feel more like a failure. My body refuses to do one of its main jobs. I’m tired of people saying “just stop trying and it will happen” when that’s not how it works for us.

I’m just tired.

But we will continue on. Next time will be the last <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a> before we revaluate and look at <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>. This time we plan on doing a saline sonogram. Trying to remain hopeful but it’s getting harder. Just have to keep the faith.

End rant.

If you’ve made it this far, you’re awesome. Thanks for letting me vent. We don’t really have anyone to talk to about our challenges. We haven’t told family we are trying because we don’t want that extra pressure and my friends are fighting their our fertility battles.

Feel free to send any thoughts, prayers, funny memes anything really our way.