Is it selfish to have a child?

Question

My friend's mother just passed. I am very heartbroken by her lost. I couldn't imagine going through something similar. It just got me thinking about my decision to have children. I know that one day i will have to go through something like that and It completely devistates me. I can't help but to thinking, is it selfish to bring a child into this world and have them go through something similar and even one day have to face death themselves? I may sounds crazy right now for thinking this way but I just feel a great deal of emotions. My husband views things completely differently. I was wondering if anyone had to go through something like this at some point? How did you come to terms with it?

Answer

Life isn't all about love, peace, joy, and happiness. Sometimes it's about heart break, disappointment, fear and death. You can't have one without the other. That's like saying what's the use of living if we are all going to die one day.  By not having a child it could be said that you're sparing that child unimaginable grief that they may have during a time in their life, but you're also denying them the wonderful things too like what it feels like to be embraced by a loving mother, the joy of hearing a baby laugh, the feeling of accomplishment when you succeed in meeting a goal; first love; first kiss and so many more. You could also be denying the world the unique gifts your child could contribute. You're kid could be the next Ghandi or Mother Theresa or a fire fighter; a doctor, etc.

Answer

I regularly feel like a horrible person for bringing kids into this world. And yes. Having kids is selfish.

But we aren't always the more reasonable, rational creatures, are we?

Answer

I think the decision to have a child is definitely a very selfish thing to do, and I'm pregnant! The child has nothing to do with his or her existence. We are bringing children in the world because WE WANT TO. But death is also a part of life and every child/person will experience it. It's a natural thing that people have to deal with. So yes your child will eventually deal with death but that doesn't seem like a good reason to not have children. I'm having a child with the man I'm in love with because we both want children and I want to be someone's "mommy".

Answer

My dad just passed away at the beginning of the year. It was by far the most awful thing I've ever had to do but also I'm so grateful for helping bring me and my brother into this world and for the precious time and things he taught me. Also I don't know how my mum would cope if she didn't have us to help her through it. It has also made me more anxious to have children soon, (hopefully) we have more time to spend with them until our time is over too. But I can totally understand your point of view and not wanting to put someone through that xx

Answer

It's really hard dealing with a death of somebody close to you but I would much rather have known them and sirens as much time with them as possible than to not have known them at all.

Is it selfish to have a child?

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