How long before you dated again?

Question

So end of November my ex ended things. We were together for like 1.5 years. I was super heart broken but then I started seeing a lot clearer as to who what kind of person he is. And I realized it wasn’t meant to be. I had hoped we’d get back together but I’m not waisting my time hoping on someone who treated me poorly. Plus even after we ended he still screwed me over by using my debit card and now my account is blocked until I get a new card. So I’m pretty over him after all the shit he’s done.
I don’t want a relationship right now as I’m focusing on myself and want to be the best me. But I want some sex
I’m not one to just hook up. I want
A casual relationship. I had one before where I hung out with a guy and we slept together. That’s all I want. Like a fwb I guess
How long before you started dating?

Answer

I was in a relationship for five years with my cheating ex, he was a piece of shit, he basically cheated on me the entire time and used me and was basically in love with my debit card will put it that way. That ended in December 2017, I took all of 2018 to work on myself and lose weight and just get right in the head basically inside and out I healed. I started dating again by 2019, two guys that were a waste of my time, and bye October 2019 I met a decent guy, we were together almost a year, he knew my background what I had been through and was the most patient and understanding man that I had ever met. It took me a month and a half to kiss him in another month and a half to have sex with it. Not many men would wait 3 months for sex. When the virus happened, he lost his job, which was basically when I saw him because his job was a halfway point between his home and my home and 30 minutes each way rather than our street. I think I had only seen him a few times since the virus because his son has cystic fibrosis and is very high risk so he stayed away and that was understandable, the effort became less and less so we could go by two weeks will go by three weeks will go by and I wouldn’t hear from him and so basically it fade it out. I started seeing someone after some time and in June 2020 I finally moved on to someone else, I had known him actually for 20 years, and it was just perfect timing, I was on the tail end of the other guy was basically complaining to him about him and we were friends, and apparently he’s always liked me but never wanted to complicate things or make things awkward because we would work together from time to time and he was 16 years older than me, he would make jokes randomly but I never took him seriously because I always thought it was for shits and giggles. Now that I’m 42, it’s different, where more connected, chemistry, we have more things in common now that we are older, and he tried to be with me back then, I probably would’ve laughed at him and not taken him seriously and I would’ve thought yeah right old man, but now that we’ve both been through a lot in life and we both grown and it’s just perfect, I have no complaints, he’s an amazing lover, we are like best friends, we have the same sense of humor, he’s so down to earth, we get along great. And I couldn’t be happier. He’s the most attentive man I’ve ever met, he notices any little difference even in my breathing or a text message. And any kind of complaint or suggestion he makes it better the next time, and any kind of disagreement or anything like that is resolved immediately, he’s an amazing communicator, he’s so grown-up compared to what I’ve dealt with in the past, and he’s the most attentive lover I’ve ever met, he loves going down on me he loves pleasing me and for the first time in my life oral sex doesn’t feel like a chore, are used to suck it up and take one for the team and I actually dreaded doing it because they never reciprocated, they were the most selfish guys who didn’t care if I climaxed or not, and my guy loves going down on that you can do it for hours. He loves to please me and I love to please him, I actually get aroused pleasing him, and he can tell just from my breathing but I’m getting aroused, I’ve never been with someone so attentive and caring and he’s just amazing. So I guess things fizzled with the first guy around February March, and then things just got less and less contact and then by June I started with the new guy for 2020 so it all depends on you and whenever you’re ready and whenever you’re in the right headspace and whenever you’ve healed completely whenever you don’t miss your partner anymore, whenever you truly feel ready, when you don’t allow trust issues or commitment issues or insecurities or doubts sabotage your future relationships because you blame the new guy for what the last guy did or anything like that, when you’ve truly healed and forgiving yourself, you forgiven your partner and all of your exes and anyone who hurt you in the past, so that it doesn’t sabotage your future. Whether you forgive her them to their face or you for giving them to yourself for your own sanity, not because they deserve it, and but because you deserve peace within and they are no longer going to be the reason for your own unhappiness. ￼￼￼￼￼That’s when you’re ready to move on. In all honesty I would just watch some porn and flick the bean, if you want a friends with benefits that is up to you, but if you’re the kind of person who will get attached, then I wouldn’t go there. Truly work on yourself inside and out. When you’re truly ready to move on that’s when you do it.

Answer

I was in a relationship for 6 years and had only been happy for 2 of them but I was always guilted into staying whenever I tried to leave and after so long had been convinced I'd never be with anyone else, I had finally had enough and was sick of wasting my life being miserable all the time he was controlling and I wanted to live my life the way I wanted. When I broke up with him there wasn't an ounce of regret I felt like a giant weight was lifted and I just felt free and so unbelievably happy 2 years later engaged with my 3 month old daughter I still have never felt any regret. I started dating my fiance a mere week after breaking up with my ex. I don't think theres a set time you need to wait whenever you feel ready to start dating again give it a try.

How long before you dated again?

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