Losing my shine

Samantha • Childhood cancer survivor. 2 cp. rainbow baby girl born Dec 20th 2021

Currently going through my second chemical pregnancy in a row. I feel like I’m losing my shine. I want to be happy but I just have this underlying feeling of doubt and possibility.

A lady I spoke to said “even though it’s so early in the pregnancy it’s the death of a dream for you” which really struck me in a good way.

It is. And it was taken from me twice.

When I was younger I was in the hospital for awhile with leukemia receiving chemo and I’m that sense everything was out of my control. And I hate that it feels like that’s happening again. My health/fertility is out of my control.

I was just hoping that this one aspect of my health could be straight forward for me but it doesn’t seem to be.