Shady or no?

A girl my husband works with - not closely with but in the same building - added him to Facebook. She does have a boyfriend and is 22 but she looks very much younger. He had mentioned her name before saying that it was so and so’s sister in law and she was really quiet.

A day after he accepted her friend request, she started messaging him random things like weather articles. Completely out of the blue. I was like what in the? Like I wouldn’t expect anyone to send me things if we hadn’t previously discussed or expressed interest or worry right? A couple other people he works with are also friends on My Facebook and he’s said nothing about it. When I said I was going to request her as a friend he went off and told me to not start trouble excuse me how is that trouble?? I told him that just makes it seem shady as hell getting all defensive over me just saying I thought about it!

233 views • 2 upvotes • 13 comments

COMMENT (13)

Am

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That’s a little weird to me. Especially if it’s all out of the blue.

An

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So either she’s a weirdo and sends unwanted weather reports to your husband, or your husband chats her up at work enough for her to feel comfortable sending him messages outside of work. But, I think his reaction says it all. If nothing was going on why couldn’t you request to be her friend? Seems odd to me.

✨B

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Isn’t it weird to friend her if you don’t know her?It’s like you are trying to insert yourself between them... you shouldn’t have to do that. Talk to you bf how you feel about it, what solutions does he have?

Si

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It just seems that she is a work friend this is how jealousy starts .....Do you think she’s attractive ? Cos that’s going to mess with your head....

Ni

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K let me say first, a bit of jealousy is normal and honestly can be a healthy thing so long as you are upfront about things. I am almost 12 weeks pregnant and tbh quite emotional. The other week I noticed a pretty little blonde thing start like my husbands insta pictures.. and well, he doesn't have many followers or get many likes outside of his family members. So I immediately had a moment of jealously and panic. Not gonna lie, I went to the worst ideas in my head. I did add her on insta and sent her a dm after she accepted me. I started by complimenting her as she was a gorgeous lady, I asked how she knew my hubs (with those words), and then complimented her adorable pitbull/mix as it was her last post on insta. I would assume it was pretty obvious where I was going, and she responded back pretty quick with a thank you and let me know they used to work together (my husband had recently changed jobs and had started adding people from his old job now that he was no longer there). We only sent a few messages back and forth, and she had brought up that my hubby had talked about our son at work and that he must be so big now. I decided to mention it to my husband that night, I said I had added *her name* and messaged her and I could see he was a touch uncomfortable. I said she is gorgeous and asked about how close they worked. As we talked he became more comfortable and would share some things about work and their chats. I could tell that his initial discomfort was from him being worried that I WOULD assume the worst, but as we talked it through I realized there was nothing else going on there. It's really best not to assume, but natural to feel a bit jealous when you see someone that COULD be an option for them. Personally, I've always had a lot of guy friends and I know that it can certainly be platonic, I simply get on better generally with guys than girls. This used to make my husband uncomfortable but over time he has begun to understand it. As I have to understand with him as well. It is okay for your partner to be friends with someone they COULD potentially be attracted to (and I word it that way instead of saying opposite sex, as I am pansexual and am potentially attracted to a wide range of people). If my hubs was to say I couldn't be friends with someone I maybe COULD be attracted to, I wouldn't be able to have ANY friends... so I have to extend the same courtesy to him as a hetero man in relation to females. Everyone can have moments of jealousy, it's just important to talk it out before jumping to conclusions or making any accusations. Sorry for the long response, but I thought it was important. 💜

🦋

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He definitely conversates with her more than he’s letting you know. At the end of the day it’s his job to correct that if it’s bothering you BUT you adding her could cause issues that aren’t necessary. He could’ve definitely not snapped at you about it tho, seems fishy.

🤰

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A bit strange in my opinion.

Ni

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He blew up on you because he has a workfriend and you don't trust him enough you want to make sure she knows he is taken.

Ch

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Actions speak louder 🤷🏼‍♀️

Si

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