So I have been with my bf since July 2020. We immediately jumped into living together which I don’t regret. I have absolutely LOVED having him here. Probably a little too much. He’s been going through hard times, and I recently starting living on my own in a huge two bedroom so I just said F it.

So fast forward to Valentine’s Day 2021, I ask to see his phone to look for a recent song he had just played. He didn’t remember the song so I just asked for his phone so I could find it for him. He has an iPhone and his phone was on the home page so I swiped down to use the search shortcut. I saw in his recent apps was POF (a dating app for those unfamiliar). I clicked into the app that already had messages open. I saw EXTREMELY recent activity. He replied to a message to some chick 28 minutes ago from that current moment when I was looking at his messages.

After that, I proceeded to find the song I was originally looking for and gave him his phone back. My gift to him for V-day was a video collage I made of us with one of his favorite songs playing in the back ground, so I asked him why POF was one of his recent apps. He proceeded to lie and tell me that he didn’t know what I was talking about. I then told him that since I didn’t have anything to worry about that he should watch what I made for him for Valentine’s. So I played the video and left the room. This is where I became emotional and started to cry.

We have since had a discussion and what I will say is that I have been wishy-washy recently about this relationship. Mainly because I have started having concerns with us living together. I express these concerns with him each time though as to maintain transparency and honesty.

Having said that he did say that tbh he feels like sometimes I’m going to put him out so he flirts with other girls to try and find other living arrangements if needed. Mind you he has recently fallen into hard times and he says that is a potential means to an end.

I’m not sure what to think of this. I’m not sure if this is all a lie. Who knows how far these messages with other women have gone. I didn’t have time to explore all the messages. When I asked him if I could see the messages, he did not allow me because he said he didn’t want to have me see him talking to other girls. Whatever that means. Like he feels bad or something? Idek. Either way idk what to do. I’m torn because I care for him very much. I don’t want to walk...but my pride and the strong woman inside are not fully agreeing with that plan. Are there ways to salvage a relationship when trust has been lost?

Please help,

Too forgiving