At six weeks I was informed I was having twins, unexpected, exciting, and a shock to myself and my partner. Seeing both babies heartbeats and the little blobs they were filled me up with so much joy because I’ve dreamed of twins for so long. The tech seemed a bit concerned with twin B and the size of the placenta so urged me to see an OB asap.

Three weeks later, I was finally able to get in and found out the gut wrenching news that twin b stopped developing and there was no heartbeat detecting. He did say twin A was healthy and the right size, but I couldn’t even obtain the happy relieving news because I was so devastated about the loss of twin B. What hurts even more is that I had to experience this alone with my partner on FaceTime while he’s at work due to COVID restrictions.

I am trying to be super grateful that I have a healthy baby and that I have little to no symptoms, but I’m struggling with being happy and celebrating the healthy baby that I’m blessed with.

Am I alone? Is this normal? Will the joy and baby excitement return?