My husband, like most men, loves to play video games. He mainly plays with his best friend and his best friends wife.

What bothers me is that he is constantly comparing me to his best friends wife and saying he wishes I was more like her. Which makes me feel like shit. And it’s also making me feel more and more uncomfortable to hang out with them if he’s wishing I was more like this girl sitting on our couch. Here are a few things he’s said to me:

“I wish you liked playing video games like Erica.”

“You know sometimes I wish you were one of those girls who loves to cook, like Erica. Erica always cooks good ass food for Ben.”

“Ben was super quiet during that game bc Erica was giving him head, I wouldn’t mind if you did that during a game.”

“Ben said that Erica has been reading a bunch of crazy sex stuff on her Nook and that’s why she’s being so adventurous lately, I told him to send it to me.”

In the past he’s mentioned that he wished I dressed more athletic and that he wished I played soccer so we could do it together. (Because I’ve talked to him about wanting to spend more quality time together) which yes that would be nice if we had similar interests so we could do something we both enjoy together, but we just don’t. I do like playing video games but not the kind he likes. I’ve tried to play with him a few times to make him happy but I genuinely just don’t enjoy it like he does.

I just don’t understand why he married me knowing that I don’t do/like those things if it’s that important to him. He just makes me feel like shit saying he wishes I was this or that way(especially if he compares me to someone we know.) I don’t know how to address this, and I’m sure I’ll still feel super insecure knowing that he wishes I was different, even if I get him to stop voicing it so often.